I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
