they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
