If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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