I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
