I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
