Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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