Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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