dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
