There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
