Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
