You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
In other news, I just burned my penis
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
