and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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