Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
