69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
