I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just want to make out with him forever
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize