and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Randomize
