wanna go halves on a baby?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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