i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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