My hand turned me down
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
