If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
