I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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