He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
