Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize