Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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