just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
