the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
