I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
