Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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