Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
