I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
