Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
