i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
