we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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