This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm sobbing to NWA
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
