Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
