he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
