in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
