I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
sex in a hospital.. check
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
