i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
