But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
tell your sister to shave her snatch
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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