first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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