how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Did you just see the Batmobile???
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
