Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
