Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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