the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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