have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
