just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
be right there i have to get my cape
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
