it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My dick has a subreddit
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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