DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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