I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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