They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
