So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
