is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
