"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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