Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
