Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
