i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
