This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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