Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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