I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
