whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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